It Hurts To Love You
by Daniiel
Summary: Will Cristina and Owen make it? Can they forgive each other and move forward. Continuation of 8x23
1. Chapter 1

Cristina opened the door to the firehouse and started walking up from the stairs. She hadn't been here for a while and yes, she missed it a lot, but not as much as she missed Owen. It was two weeks ago, Owen told her that he had cheated on her. Since then she had been here once. She looked across the bed and saw Owen asleep in a blue t-shirt. He looked so peaceful and all she wanted to do was to let him hold her tightly and hug her. But she couldn't get the cheating out of her mind. He had been with another woman; he had wanted to hurt her back. There's nothing as just 'sex'. He did it for a reason; he wanted to hurt her as she hurt him with the abortion. She stood there just watching him. It was like he knew she was there; he opened his eyes slowly and said.

"Cristina?"

Now she wanted to be with him more, the way he was looking at her and how he said her name. She walked to the bed, pushed him and rested her head on his chest.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I don't know" she said, it was true. Why was she doing this, he cheated on her she thought but she couldn't resist him.

"Are you drunk?" he said, wrapping his arms around her. She felt complete when she lay in his arms, everything felt perfect when he was holding her. It's like he's her soul mate, how could she live without her other half, she thought.

Why did he have sex with another woman, she thought. Why would he ever do something like that, that was not the man she loved, she knew him and he is not the type who cheat's on his wife. She wondered how things would have been if she hadn't have an abortion. They would have a baby, been together as a family. But she wasn't ready when she got pregnant. She had never imagined her life with kids, and it's true she didn't want one. They didn't have time for a baby, she had her finals coming up and it wasn't the right time to have a baby. But she did get pregnant and did have an abortion and now he cheated on her. She never thought that this would be the results of an abortion. She got up, sat next to him and looked at him. She could still feel the pain; would she ever be able to forgive him? she thought.

She got up and started walking to the stairs; she looked at him and could see the pain all over his face. She started feeling bad for him, but why. He was the one who cheated on her, she thought. She started to walk down the stairs and got out.

* * *

Cristina woke up and could feel her head pounding. She did drink a lot yesterday. Another day of work, she thought, another day of facing Owen. She got up and dressed and headed to the kitchen to see Meredith feeding Zola.

"How's my favorite girl?" Cristina said kissing Zola on her forehead.

"Where were you last night?" Meredith asked eyeing Cristina.

"Joe's" Cristina said quietly.

Meredith looked at Cristina and could sense that she was hiding something.

"What did you do?" Meredith asked.

"Drink? What do you do at Joe's?" Cristina said,

"You did something else, I can see it Cristina, what did you do?" Meredith said once again.

Cristina sighed loudly and said:

"I was in the firehouse"

"What? Cristina! He cheated on you, did you sleep with him?" Meredith said.

"Yes Meredith, Yes! He cheated on me but my love for him still stands Meredith. I can't just pretend the last years didn't happen. He's my soul mate. Do you think I just can forget him like that? I want to forget him but he means too much for me. I can't be mad at him, I don't know why. And No, I didn't sleep with him."

"I don't understand you. You go back to your husband who cheated on you. Use your brain Cristina, he slept with another woman." Meredith said a little peeved.

"Don't you think I understand that, Mer? Do you really think I'm that stupid? And there's a reason he cheated on me. I aborted our BABY without even discussing it with him. He didn't even have a say. All he wanted from me was a baby, and he would have been happy. But no, I aborted it. And it's none of your business; he's my husband this is between me and him." Cristina said loudly.

"Okay, I'm just thinking about you, Cristina. I just don't want him to hurt you again." Meredith said, she knew Cristina was angry.

* * *

As Owen changed his clothes in the hospital he kept thinking about last night. She did come to him, and then just like that she left. What was that supposed to mean? Did she forgive him? But she left. He sighed. He missed her so much; all he could think about was her. He could still remember the night he told her that he had cheated on her. He could see the hurt in her face, and he could hear the sobs. The worst part is that he's the reason she was crying, and that hurt even more.

Why was love so complicated, why could not just two people want the same thing. Why couldn't she just want a baby? Why did it hurt so much to think about her, 'it hurts to love you'? He thought about it, and it does hurt to love her. He loves her so much that it hurts. His worst fear was that she wanted a divorce and then she would leave him. If that happened he didn't know what he would do.

How could they be so in love with each other and still want different things? And the worst part is that Cristina acted like she didn't care

"_Cristina can seem cold, but that's just a lid. A lid on a jar that holds her feelings, but it's a big jar so don't give up too easy."_

It's a lid to protect her. She doesn't show any emotions, she can seem 'cold' and people call her a 'robot' but that's not true. She's just like everyone else. She's human, and he knows that she does care but she doesn't show it because she's afraid to get hurt. And the only persons she opened up to was Meredith and him, and now he messed it all up. Would she ever be able to forgive him? He thought.

He walked to the nurse station and saw her standing there charting. He so wanted to talk to her about last night. He wanted them to be back together. He wanted them to be a couple again.

"Hi" he said.

She looked over at him and smiled. "Hi"

"Um. Can we talk?" he said.

"Owen.." she said.

"Please, Cristina. I can't live like this anymore. We need to talk." He said.

"Owen, I need time. I need time to think. Please. I can't focus when you're around, you distract me. So please give me time to think." She said looking him deeply into his eyes.

He sighed and nodded. He looked so sad, so down like his world was about to end, and so miserable. It pained her to look at him.

"Tell me when you're ready." He said pleading.

She nodded and left.

* * *

**A/N: Please leave a review. If people like it I will continue writing, if not I will just be this chapter. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2: Trust

**A/N: Two chapters in one day. YEP, i was on the train this whole morning so i wrote the first one while i was on the train, and i wrote the second one now at home. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

She entered the house and saw Zola and Meredith sitting on the ground and playing with dolls. She put her bag down and joined them on the floor.

"Hello Zola!" Cristina said in a cheery voice.

Meredith had seen Owen and Cristina talking before. How she could go back to him, Meredith thought. He cheated on her, that's the worst thing someone can do to his wife. If Derek had cheated on her she had probably killed him, she thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Cristina asked, observing Meredith shaking her head.

"Um, nothing. Do you want some wine?" she said.

"Yes, I'm exhausted. I've been in the OR most of the day." Cristina said proudly.

"I saw you with Owen..Talking." Meredith said quietly. She glanced over at Cristina to see any reaction.

"Meredith..Please. I'm taking care of it. You don't need to worry. I'm fine," Cristina said, was she really about to bring this discussion up again.

"No, you're not fine. Your husband is an asshole who cheated on you, and you're pretending nothing happened. You are like my sister Cristina, you really are. And I know if you go back with Owen he will hurt you again! He will never get past the abortion, you know it and I know it. And you will not get pass that he cheated on you. You're wasting your time on him." Meredith said, while handing the wine to Cristina.

"Are you serious right now? Okay I understand that you're worried but can you please stop it. It's getting really annoying. You don't understand, I can't be mad at him. I just can't. He made a mistake, but just because he made ONE mistake he's nothing anymore. I'm cannot talk to you right now." Cristina said, picking up her bag and leaving.

"Wait..Cristina I didn't me-"

How could she do this, all she was talking about was the cheating and how bad he is. Yes, he did a horrible thing, but people make mistakes, and we learn from them. Cristina called a cab and headed to the firehouse, she didn't know if Owen was there. Maybe he's on call, she thought.

* * *

Owen put on his coat and was on his way home. He checked his phone and saw a several messages but none from Cristina, he sighed. He kept thinking about if she would want a divorce, where would it leave him? He knew he wouldn't survive without her.

The thing is you don't know how it is to lose something before you lose it, life changes in a heartbeat. Now all he had was work, he knew he would never love another woman like he loved Cristina. Would he end up being alone the rest of his life? Because he would never be able to move on from Cristina. It wouldn't be fair for another woman, because he wouldn't be able to love someone like a husband or boyfriend should do. "Please Cristina, forgive me." He said quietly before he entered the house.

He walked up the stairs and saw a bag on the floor, he knew who's bag that was.

"Cristina?" he called out.

She came out wrapped in a towel and said:

"Oh, um. I don't have anywhere to sleep tonight, so I guess I will sleep on the couch if that's okay." She said embarrassed that she didn't have anywhere to go.

"It's okay, you can take the bed I will sleep on the couch, I know you are exhausted from today, so you can take the bed." He said admiring her bare shoulders.

"Thanks, I guess." She said walking into the bathroom and changing her clothes, she felt uncomfortable in the towel in front of him; even though he had seen her naked many times she felt a strange feeling when she wrapped in the towel.

They settled down without saying much to each other. She got under the covers and tried to sleep but the sleep never came. She got up and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. She glanced over at the couch and saw him, he didn't look commutable, the couch was way too small for him.

She drained the whole glass and returned to bed. Her last thoughts before she went to sleep was Owen.

* * *

Owen opened his eyes and stretched; he got up and got ready for work. He made himself a light breakfast and sat down alone and ate. He heard some noises coming from the bedroom, they were loud, really loud he thought. What was she doing? He got to see what was going on; he opened the door and saw her sleeping but she was sweating.

"Owen, please come back!" he heard her say. What did she just say? Come back? She was talking while she was sleeping, probably a nightmare he thought. He walked to her side and lightly shook her so she would wake up.

Cristina's eyes fluttered open and saw Owen with worried eyes. Cristina knew he had seen her while she was having a nightmare. The nightmares were more aggressive since she left him.

"Just a bad dream." She said.

"How often do you have these nightmares?" he asked worried.

"I'm fine Owen. I just need to get up and ready for work." She said, lying. The nightmares haunted her every night. Sometimes she didn't even sleep to skip them.

She got up and got dressed quickly. Before she left she looked at him and said:

"Thanks for the bed, didn't want to sleep on a on call room."

He sighed. She still wasn't ready to talk.

"It's your house too." He said

"I know but – I will see you at work, bye." She said leaving.

* * *

Cristina walked into the hospital and saw Meredith dropping Zola of daycare. She really needed a friend to talk to, but Meredith was reminding her every freaking second about the cheating. Maybe she shouldn't have told her, she thought. She changed and got ready for work.

After her surgery she walked into cafeteria and saw Owen sitting alone, she got her diet coke and got next to him.

"I want a divorce." She said.

When he heard those words coming from her moth his heart broke into millions of pieces. There was no hope for them anymore, she wouldn't be able to forgive him, he thought.

She could see how sad he got when she said it, she could read him like a book. She really didn't know what to do. She had lost her trust for him; she wouldn't be able to trust him. If she would see him talking to another woman she know that she would think that he would be cheating, or if he would come home late, she would think that he cheated on her. Trust is most important thing in a marriage and if you lose it, it's hard to get it back.

But was this the right thing to do, she thought. If someone had asked her about her future she couldn't imagine it without him. She sighed and looked at him with pain.

"Owen, the thing is I cannot trust you. I want us to be back together, I want that more than anything. But I don't know if I would ever be able to trust you again. And trust issues in a marriage is – yeah.."

What she was saying was true, he knew she wouldn't be able to trust him for a while but if you can trust one person once, you can regain your trust again.

"You trusted me once; maybe you can trust me again. Please, Cristina. I can't just – please. It feels so empty without you, I don't know what to do anymore, the only thing I have left is work. I have nothing to go home to, so I'm begging you, please forgive me. I know this will be hard, but I love you so much and I can't live without you. I can't sleep when you're not there, so from all my heart, please Cristina forgive me. I made a mistake and I regret it every day, I hurt you badly I know that and I would do anything, anything to take that back. So, please we can make this work, I know we can because our love is strong I know it and you know it." Owen said.

"Please Cristina," he said taking her hand into his.

"I-..I..Okay, we'll try but I cannot promise you if I will be able to trust you again." Cristina said,

He leaned forward and gave her a huge kiss. That was something Cristina did not expect, but hell she didn't mind. She had missed him so much.

"Okay" he whispered into her ear.

* * *

**A/N: Please review, I really do like to read them so if you enjoyed please please please leave a review.**

**I do like writing this story, this is my second chapter but if I decide to continue then this will probably a lot more.**

**And for the one's who is reviewing, thank you so much. I mean it, I appreciate them a lot.**


	3. Chapter 3: Love cannot be forgotten

Owen walked around the hospital thinking about the conversation he had with Cristina. First she told him she wanted a divorce and now, they were going to try again. He was happy that she was willing to try again. He knew this would be hard, very hard. Cristina isn't like any other person; she's very special in many ways. She doesn't open up to many of her friends; she doesn't show any emotions because she wants to show them that she's strong. The thing is, she is strong not many people survive a plane crash, shooting, miscarriage and the loss of her father. Since her father died she has built up a barrier to protect herself from getting hurt. And Owen knows that when he cheated on her he took something from her.

"_He took something from me..He took little pieces of me little pieces I didn't even notice. I lost myself for a long time, and now, when I'm finally me again I can't..I love you more then I loved Burke and that scares the crap out of me. Because when you asked me to ignore Teddy's page, you took a piece of me and i… let you."_

Pieces, small pieces. She opened up to him, and that's rare for someone like Cristina. All he could wish now was that she would open up to him again, and let him be in her life again.

* * *

Cristina in the meantime had gone into surgery. She too was thinking about her conversation with Owen. Did she do the right thing, she thought. She knew she still loved him and she will always love him. There's no other man who can replace him, none. But was she ready, ready to try again? Ready to discuss their issues. Ready to _trust_ him. Focus Cristina focus, she thought and continued with her surgery.

When she finished she was walking towards an on call room. Sleep was the only thing she could think about right now. She was almost there and spotted Meredith talking to Derek, they seemed to be fighting. Meredith rushed towards Cristina and said:

"Cristina, please listen. I didn't mean to.. you know. But I was just thinking about you.. and yes, I'm sorry."

Cristina listened to her and remained silent.

"Cristina, say something. I know I did wrong, but I was just thinking about you." Meredith said.

"Meredith..it's always about you. When you told me that he was an asshole, and when you told me if Derek had cheated on you, you would have killed him. You weren't even paying any attention to me Mer, it's always been about you and no one else. I listen to you, I support you, I don't ever do something that will bother you. But you still…I've always been there for you, every time. When Derek chose Addison over you. When you lost your sister, I've always been there for you. I have never ever walked away from you. And now, when something happens to me, you just remind of the terrible thing he did. You just don't care. Nothing or no one can change your mind, Mer. I'm still mad at you and I will be for a while but I just don't understand you. I needed a friend and you pulled back. So I can't forgive you right now, you have to give me some space. I'm going to try it with Owen again I can't have you talking about him the way you do." Cristina said.

Meredith didn't know what to say, she nodded and turned around.

Cristina got into the on call room, and got under the covers. She really needed a friend back then and she still needed a friend right now, but she still couldn't forget how Meredith acted, that's not how a friend should act. It was like she didn't care at all. The only thing she heard was the cheating part and that's the only thing she talks about.

Cristina sighed tried to get some sleep.

* * *

"_Maybe god wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right ones.  
So, that when we finally meet the right person will know how to be grateful for that gift.  
Love is when you take away the feeling; the passion and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person.  
A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be, and that you just have to let go.  
When the door of happiness closes, another opens but oftentimes we look so long at the closed door what we don't see the one which has been opened for us.  
The best kind of friend is the kind you can just be with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you have ever had.  
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.  
Giving someone all your love is never assurance that they'll love you back.  
Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.  
There are things you'd love to hear – that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart.  
Never say goodbye if you still want to try – never give up if you still feel you can go on – never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go._

_Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed – to those who still believe although they've been betrayed – to those who still love although they've been hurt before, and to those who have courage and faith to build trust again._

_It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone – but it takes a lifetime to forget someone"_

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I appreciate them a lot so thank you very much and please keep reviewing that's what keeps me going.**

**It was a little short but I published this story not a long time ago so this chapter is thanks to the one who reviewed.  
Thanks.**


	4. Chapter 4: Pain

Cristina opened her eyes slowly and saw Owen sitting next to her. What was he doing here, she wondered. He looked exhausted; she checked her watch and couldn't believe that she had been sleeping for four hours.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked him, still confused.

"Um, I just finished my surgery and look to find you. I didn't find you at first then I asked Meredith and she told me that you were sleeping in here, and now I'm here." He said.

"Oh, okay. Do you want to go home? We can order something, I'm hungry." She said.

He was a little shocked that she used the word 'home' she usually said 'firehouse'. "Sure, do you want Chinese?"

"Yeah, let's go." She said.

* * *

Both of them were hungry so they didn't speak much during the time they were eating. Owen in the other hand was thinking about sleeping arrangements he knew they wouldn't sleep in the same bed, not as yet.

"So..where do you want me to sleep?" he asked looking up from his food.

"Um..you can take the bed, it's fine. I will sleep on the couch." She said.

Owen sighed and nodded. He didn't expect them to sleep in the same bed but he was hoping. He had kissed her once at the hospital since the cheating, and she didn't pull back that was weird he thought. He remembered the other day, they were at the nurse station with their charts, and he had accidentally touched her hand and she had pulled away quickly. He was a little shocked when he saw her pulling away, but he understood.

They finished their meals and was about to settle down. He was waiting for her to finish whatever she was doing in the bathroom. She opened the door and he saw her dressed in her pj's, she walked into the bedroom took her blanket and a pillow. He got into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. As he left the bathroom he took a final look at the couch and sighed.

* * *

It had been a week since they decided to try again. Things had worked out okay, but there was still issues that needed to be solved. And the thing that was killing him was that she didn't allow him to touch her, not once since he kissed her. He was missing her so much, he was seeing her every day, at work, they usually walked home together, ate their meals but it wasn't like before. There was no _"us"_ feeling anymore. He decided to talk to her about something that maybe would help them, though he was a little nervous to bring the subject up. He spotted her talking to a patient he waited until she was done and told her that they needed to talk. They walked into a supply closet and Owen started:

"Let's be honest with each other, things have been working okay for us but it's not like before. It doesn't feel like before for me. I was thinking that maybe we could try therapy, I think it might help us." He said hoping she would understand what he was saying about the 'us'.

"Um..Okay I guess, it won't hurt to try." She said,

Owen sighed loudly and stared into her eyes before adding.

"Please Cristina, open up to me again. Let me be in your life again. I know you're scared about opening up but please Cristina, trust me this time. I won't ever hurt you again, I want 'us' more than anything, I have this strange feeling all the time, I see you here, I see you at home, we eat together, we still do stuff together but you're still sleeping on the couch and … - it just all messed up, I want to touch you but you're pulling away from me. It's like I'm some kind of disease and you can't touch me, it hurts, it hurts so much every time it happens, and if we continue like this I know we will have to go to therapy. I don't like it either but if we can't get over the abortion and the cheating we will never move forward. Because I'm ready, I'm ready to forgive you, in fact I have already forgiven you about the abortion so I need you to forgive me Cristina, forgive me." He said pleading with his eyes

"_I'm still mad at you, and I don't know if I trust you. I want to trust you, but I don't know if I do, so I'm going to try, I'm going to try and trust you because I believe we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart"_

That night they did share the same bed, but it was almost worst, Owen thought. Here she was next to him, he could just turn around and wrap his arms around her but it's like she's far, far away from here. It's like she doesn't even notice I'm here. He listened to her breathing and heard that she was asleep; he sighed and closed his eyes.

* * *

Cristina walked to the hospital by herself. Owen had a later shift; she spotted Meredith with Alex at the entrance, it was like Meredith could sense that she was looking at her, she turned her head and saw her friend standing there.

"Happy birthday!" Meredith and Alex said happily.

"Who?" Cristina asked

"Uhh,you! It's your birthday." Meredith said.

"Oh, really? Well, congratulations to me." Cristina said sarcastically.

"Do you want to go to Joe's after our shift and celebrate our treat." Meredith said.

"Yeah, sure why not." Cristina said

All three of them got into their stations and began to work.

* * *

"Happy birthday!" Meredith said coming up with a cake,

"Oh, come on Meredith, cake really?" Cristina said with a laugh.

"Come on, it's your birthday, make a wish"

"_We all get at least one wish a year over the candles on our birthday. Some of us throw in more – on eyelashes, fountains, lucky stars, and every now and then, one of those wishes come true. So what then? Is it as good as we'd hoped? Do we bash in the warm glow of our happiness? Or, do we just notice we've got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished? We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for the big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we're scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish, though, because sometimes they come true"_

She closed her eyes and wished her wish.

Later when she got home, she found the place dark. He has probably sleeping she thought. She walked up the stairs into the bedroom and saw him. He was indeed sleeping. She walked into the bathroom and changed her clothes, brushed her teeth and then got under the covers next to him. Usually when they were in bed together she would be turned away from him. This time though, she snuggled against him and put her head on his chest.

Owen could feel someone next to him; he opened his eyes slowly and saw Cristina on his chest.

"Where were you? I was worried I had no idea where you went." He said in a groggy voice.

"We celebrated my birthday at Joe's" she said quietly.

"Your birthday?" he said, what the hell? How could he forget her birthday.

"Yes," she said

"Um, why didn't you tell me anything about your birthday? I would've cooked something or I would have done something." He said.

"It doesn't matter, Owen. I don't usually don't do birthdays. Hell, I've never enjoyed celebrating my birthday when I was young, but I had a good time today."

"Of course it matters. I'm sorry" he said quietly.

"Don't be, it's okay." She said raising her head and looking up at him.

He looked down and stared at her lips. All he wanted to do was to kiss her. He sighed quietly and wrapped his arms around her.

What he didn't expect was when Cristina took his face into her hands and kissed him softly; he responded and deepened the kiss. When they broke apart he looked at her and gave her the most loving smile he could ever give someone.

"Good night, Owen" she said, snuggling against him.

"Good night, Cristina" he said wrapping his arms around her again.

"_Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of sorness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it block out everything else… makes the rest of the world fade away, until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is us to us. We anesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, and for some of us the best way to manage pain is just to push through it. Pain. You just have to tide ir out, hope that it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always makes more."_

* * *

**A/ N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please keep reviewing; I'm updating this story a lot because I'm enjoying writing it. So please tell me what you think by reviewing.**

**And thank you for all the reviews so far, I love to know what you think. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5: Forgive and forget

Owen looked down and still saw Cristina with her head on his chest. Last night was the first night she allowed him to touch her. She was the one who kissed him, he wondered what that kiss meant. Is she ready to trust him again? She did seem a little drunk but she still knew what she was doing. He could only hope for that she was ready to move forward again, to forgive. He looked at his watch and then remembered they both didn't have work today. He got out of bed and decided to make her breakfast, a little present because he had forgotten her birthday. He finished and took the tray and walked to the bedroom.

"Wake up." He said softly.

Cristina opened her eyes and saw Owen standing there with a tray full with food. He had probably made her a special breakfast because he forgot her birthday she thought.

"Good morning" she said.

"Good morning, I made you breakfast." He said, putting the tray down so she could eat.

"What's the occasion?" she asked even though she already knew the answer.

"Um, because I forgot your birthday I thought that I could make you a nice breakfast" he said smiling.

"Thank you" she said, getting ready to attack the food in front of her.

As she finished she realized that he was just sitting next to her and watching her,

"Did you eat something?" she asked.

"No, I'm not hungry." He said picking up the tray and taking it to the kitchen.

He came back and wondered what they would do today, they never had day offs but today was one. He decided to ask her if she wanted to do something special.

"So, we don't have work today, do you want to do something?" he asked.

"Um, yes sure. What would you want to do?" she said.

"I have no idea, what do we do when we're not at work?" he said.

"We don't do anything except of work" she said sarcastically.

He thought about it and then spoke.

"We could go downtown, eat and just explore new things and then we can hit joe's." he said.

"Oh, okay. Sure, let's get ready"

About 30 minutes later they were both ready for a day full with events. They got into the SUV and started driving.

* * *

Richard sat in his office ready to pack his stuff, he would miss this place. He had spent so much time in here doing paperwork, meeting new people, having phone calls he would miss that. But it was his time, he had been working for a long time and now he wanted to just retire and have a good time outside the hospital, maybe take travel somewhere. When you're the chief you don't have time to travel or do anything else. You're always needed; he started packing his stuff and was interrupted by Burke.

"Wow, thanks for that" Burke said peeved and then added.

"I just heard you gave the job to Bailey, are you kidding me? Bailey.. I never thought the day would come that someone like Bailey would take my job."

"It was never your job. So she didn't take anything from you. You know it yourself, when I asked you to come here I thought maybe you had changed. But I was wrong, you haven't changed and you will never change. You're still the same man you were all those years ago. And Bailey was the better option, so I'm sorry for getting your hopes up but I don't have a job for you here at Seattle Grace Mercy West." Richard said

"What do you mean by that? I've not changed? Is that a bad thing, because as I remember you wanted me to be chief back then? You told me yourself that you would give me the job and then you hired Derek and told him the same thing. I can't believe I trusted you, you're a snake. And for the record I thing you just made the biggest mistake of your life by giving Bailey the job." Burke said, he was so angry, how could Richard not give him the job.

"When I told you I wanted you to become chief back then was because I saw much in you that I had in me. You didn't have anything except of surgery and you still don't. And that's… that's sad. All these years I've been stuck in this hospital, having meeting, being sued, hiring people and firing people and it wasn't worth it. I gave up all my life for chief of surgery. I gave up my wife, I gave up thoughts about children, I didn't listen to my wife and look what happened to me, she left me here all alone. And If I could change it, I would have. I would have changed my life so much because now I know it wasn't worth the job. And you are that person; you would give up everything to get this job. And that's why you didn't get the job, because I care. I care and maybe you should start caring about other people too because I can see that your miserable all alone. And when you can't cut anymore what will you have? You will have some awards but what will you have more? You won't have anybody beside you, you won't have anyone to wake up in the morning, you won't have anyone to give your love to. And that's…- yeah as I told you.. that's sad." Richard said, packing once again.

Burke was still taking in what Richard just said. He didn't have anything to say because he knew that he was right about everything. He stood there quiet and then left the hospital.

* * *

Owen and Cristina had been exploring new things; they've learned a lot for one day and were now at Joe's having a drink before going home.

"It was fun" Cristina said taking a sip of her tequila.

"Yes, it was. We should do something like that again on our next day off." Owen said giving her a smile.

"Yeah, that sounds good." She said smiling back.

"_There is a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't because I thought I would be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever."_

Cristina's biggest fear during these weeks was that the woman he had slept with would come back and tell him that she's pregnant. She had asked him if they used protection and he didn't remember. What if she had told him she was pregnant and he'd left with her. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second that fear would chase her. Would she survive something like that?

"_Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's a good advice, but it's not very practical.  
When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back.  
When someone wrongs us, we want to be right.  
Without forgiveness old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that someday we'll be lucky enough to forget"_

She stopped herself thinking about it, just for a moment. She knew she had to forgive him, because thinking about it was hurting too much.

So let's forgive and forget and move forward.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Haha, I can't believe I'm almost posting a new chapter every day. I've had much time to write lately and yeah, I enjoy writing this story, so please leave your thoughts.**

**Thank you :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Did you say it?

**A/N: Oh, i forgot to tell you. Since Burke is coming back for one episode in May I brought him back here, he was going to be the chief but Richard made Bailey chief instead. Owen is not the chief, I repeat Owen is not the chief, I should have told you before, so I'm sorry. I almost messed up this story with my other one Goodbye; they both had the same situation, so I'm sorry if I confused you.**

* * *

Owen saw that Cristina was deep in her thoughts; he wondered what she was thinking. Today was the first day it felt like they were a couple again, she allowed him to hold her hand, and she was more open than before. He was happy that she once again was opening up to him again, that's all he wanted and it was happening.

He once again looked at her and saw pain and sadness in her eyes. He was about to ask but before he could she turned to him and spoke.

"So, do you want to go home? We did a lot of things today and I'm feeling tired." She said.

He could still see the pain in her eyes, what was she thinking about? She was happy before, she was laughing and smiling and now she looked down and sad. He hoped that she would talk to him about what was bothering her, because if she did it would mean that she trusted him enough to tell him.

"Sure, I'm tired to. Let's go" he said, finishing his beer and putting his coat on.

They started walking towards the firehouse in silence. They arrived after 15 minutes and got ready for bed.

They got under the covers and told each other good night and tried to sleep. The sleep never came for both of them. Cristina thought about what she thought back at Joe's. She is ready to forgive him but to forgive someone you have to talk about it. Honestly they hadn't spoken about the cheating; they only spoke about it the night he told her and the day after. But, the thing is if they would talk about it, she wouldn't have anything to say to him. He wanted to hurt her back, that's what he wanted and he did hurt her.

Stop it Cristina, stop it. You have to forget this, she thought. She turned around and spooned him.

Owen in the other hand was still happy about their day. They once again connected, but his joy was tempted when he saw the sadness and hurt in her face. He thought that maybe she was thinking about the cheating but she still didn't say anything. He was in deep thoughts when Cristina spooned him; he was more than surprised when she did it but didn't refuse. He put his arms around her and closed his eyes.

"_The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us, even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance. And time. And logic. Because some ties are simply meant to be"_

* * *

They both got up and got ready for a day of work. They were walking towards the hospital; they were almost there when they saw a woman outside the hospital sitting on a bench. The woman looked up and saw the couple; she looked at Owen and gave him some glares.

What was that about? Cristina thought

Owen in the other hand could not believe this was happening to him. No, please tell me this is my imagination, just please tell me this is a dream. Cristina noticed Owen's worried face when they entered the hospital and got into the elevator.

"Did you see her?" Cristina said.

Owen could not talk at the moment; he could not yet believe she was here.

"Owen, did you know that woman?" Cristina asked releasing his hand.

Still nothing.

She thought for a second then it hit her. No! Could it be? She pressed the stop button and turned him towards her so he could see her.

"O..Owen, who was that" Cristina said fearing the worst.

"I….I just…I" he looked at her with pain. "I don't know what she's doing here..I just, I'm.. I'm sorry"

Cristina looked at him with her eyes filled with tears,

"Is that the woman? Is that her? The one you slept with?" she asked her voice breaking.

"Y-Yes" he said, he would never ever believe that he would see her again, "why was she here, why she her, please just please don't tell me she's –" but stopped himself from thinking that far.

Cristina pushed the stop button again and the elevator started going up again. She couldn't say anything, the tears was running down her face. She needed to get out of there before everybody saw her breaking down.

The doors opened and she ran as fast as she could to an on call room. When she closed the door she threw herself on the bed and started crying like she never had before.

"She's here, and she's probably pregnant, with his baby, that's why she's here" she thought crying even more when she thought about it.

Why was this happening to her, why did the universe hate her. They were connecting again and then, this happened. All the pain she felt back then was coming back once again.

Owen didn't have time to stop Cristina when she got out. He didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what the woman was doing here. He stepped out and needed to find Cristina. He saw Meredith and decided to ask her if she knew where she was.

"Meredith, have you seen Cristina?" he asked,

Meredith could see the sadness in his eyes, something bad had happened, something really bad because she had never seen Owen like that before.

"No, didn't you spend the day with her yesterday?" Meredith asked.

"Um, yes we did." He said.

Meredith still saw the sadness in his eyes and all over his face and decided to ask

"Owen, what happened?"

"Nothing" he said

"I know you're lying, I can tell. Something has happened and that's why you're searching for Cristina." Meredith said.

Owen remained silent

"Owen, what happened?! Tell me now? Is Cristina hurt? What did you do? I need to know" Meredith demanded.

"She's here, and I don't know why." Owen said hoping Meredith would understand that he was saying.

"Who's 'she'?" Meredith asked puzzled.

"My one-night-stand." Owen said sadly

"Oh my god, are you kidding me? When did this happen? Where the hell is Cristina?"

"It happened some minutes ago, we saw her outside the hospital sitting on a bench. I don't know that's why I'm asking you." Owen said why was this happening to him, why.

"We need to find Cristina, right now! I promise you Owen, if she's hurting herself or something like that I will kill you, but before that I will kill the woman you slept with. But we need to find her first." Meredith said in a angry tone.

Owen sighed and nodded. He could not imagine Cristina hurting herself, he just couldn't bare see her hurt. They both started looking for her until Meredith opened the on call room and saw Cristina sobbing.

Meredith quickly got to Cristina and held her tightly.

"Cristina, are you okay?" Meredith asked.

"I'm everything except okay Meredith. I…I"

"I'm broken" she said and started sobbing once again.

Meredith didn't know what to say, she just wanted to see the woman who was doing this to Cristina and kick her ass. No one, no one is allowed to do this to her twisted sister.

Owen was still looking for her and then he finally opened the on call room and saw Meredith holding a sobbing Cristina.

Cristina looked up and saw Owen,

"Give us some time, Owen" Meredith said peeved.

"Please" Owen said.

"Owen, get out." Meredith said

"I..I just need to –" but was interrupted when he saw Meredith putting her hand up telling him to shut up.

He closed the door and sighed loudly.

"_Did you say it?  
I love you  
I don't ever want to live without you  
You changed my life.  
Did you say it?  
Make a plan. Set a goal. Work towards it, but everynow and then look around; drink it in cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."_

* * *

**A/N:**

**This was painful to write, it was believe me. But I have something planned so don't give up as yet.  
Please leave your thoughts, that's what keeps me going. **

**And once again, I'm sorry if I confused you about the chief thing. Thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7: Tears and Scars

Owen leaned against the door and sighed loudly once again. What was she doing here? What did she want? They have just started to reconnect again and now this happened. But the big question remained, what was she doing here?

Owen could still hear Cristina sobbing. He knew she was devastated and all he wanted to do was to comfort her but first he needed to find out what the woman wanted. He walked towards the entrance and looked for the woman but couldn't see her. He walked outside and searched for her but couldn't find her. He sighed and was just about to go back when someone tapped his back. He turned around and saw her.

"Are you looking for me?" she asked.

"Yes" Owen said in an icy tone.

"You're wondering why I'm back here, right?"

"Um, yes?" Owen said.

"Well, there's a reason I'm here and I don't think you will think this is a good thing." She said.

Owen's face froze. Please don't tell me she's – just please don't tell me, he thought in his mind.

"Say it" he said.

"I'm pregnant."

"No, no, no, no." he said "Why is this happening to me, WHY!"

"But…" she said.

"But what?" he asked.

"There's a possibility it's not yours." she said,

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, I've had sex with other guys to. So there's a possibility it's not yours. That's why I'm here. I want to do a paternity test." She said.

"Let's go then" he said, without looking in her face.

They entered the hospital and headed directly to the lab. Owen didn't want to be seen with this woman. He was already feeling shame. He had been felling ashamed since he had sex with her. Honestly he even didn't remember much, he remembered that she told him that her car was nearby. They walked to her car and had sex, more than that he could not remember.

They got into the lab and Owen immediately draw blood from both of them. Before he handed the blood to the lab he told them to run it in another name. He didn't want everyone to know this.

"How long will it take?" she asked.

"I don't know." He said, he didn't want to talk to her. Too much was running thru his mind right now.

"Why are you so nervous?" she asked.

"Are you kidding me? Why I'm nervous? Because you may be pregnant and it may be my child. And if it is, I will never forgive myself for doing this. For doing this to my wife, for doing this to myself. I'm already disgusted by myself right now, that's why I'm nervous because I don't want a child with you. I was drunk and I was hurt and I was mad and you were there. This is the worst mistake I've ever made in my whole life. I'm disgusted by _you _right now." Owen said looking directly in her eyes.

"Whatever" she said.

* * *

"Why is this happening to me, Meredith? Why do always bad things happen to me, to us? We were finally good with each other and then she.. she comes back and I can't do this right now. I just can't do this. I barley recovered from the cheating. I can't let something like this happen to me." Cristina said when she finally stopped crying.

"I'm here for you Cristina, I'm not leaving you." Meredith said hugging her friend.

"We need to get ready for work." Cristina said.

"Yeah I know, but are you okay?" Meredith asked.

"I…let's just go and work. I need something to occupy my mind." Cristina said releasing herself from Meredith's arms.

They got up and headed to their dressing room. They changed into their scrubs and headed to their stations to work.

Cristina was thinking about Owen, where did he go? She thought. She couldn't think about him right now because she knew if she did she would probably cry again.

But why was this woman here? What did she want from him, from them? Was Owen with her right now, talking with her, touching her?

She pushed her thoughts out of her mind and focused on her job instead.

"_People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds.  
Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar.  
But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers"_

* * *

"I'm going, I will be back later for the results." Owen said, he wanted to spend as less time as possible with this woman.

"Fine." She said.

Owen made his way thru the hospital and to the on call room Cristina was in before. He opened the door and saw nothing. He hadn't really expected her to be there because he knew she probably had gone working by now. He looked around the hospital; he needed to talk to her. He needed to tell her the situation. He couldn't lie to her, he wanted to tell her that there's a possibility that this woman might be pregnant and that they're doing a test right now. He knew that all the pain that she felt before will come back once again. But lying to her.. he just couldn't he wanted her to trust him by telling her the truth about everything.

He was still looking for her and saw Meredith talking to a patient, she walked out of the room and Owen grabbed her arm and pulled her into a supply closet.

"Where's Cristina? He asked anxiously

"She's working" Meredith answered in a stern tone. She had never liked Owen and she still didn't.

"How..How did she react?" he asked

"How did she react? Is that your question? How she reacted? – She's broken Owen, she's broken and you broke her. You broke her when she almost was herself again. I can't understand why she ever forgave you. She's devastated she was crying, she was asking me why this was happening to her. Why bad things kept happening to her. So what's going on? Have you talked to her about why she is here?" Meredith asked.

"Yes" Owen said, he didn't want to tell Meredith. He knew that Cristina probably would tell Meredith later but he wanted to tell Cristina first.

"Well, tell me?" Meredith said.

"No, I need to find Cristina first" Owen said.

"Good luck with that" Meredith said opening the door and getting out.

Cristina was walking and updating a chart and saw Meredith coming out from a supply closet. And then she saw Owen.

"Oh, here she is." Meredith said.

"Let's go somewhere and have some privacy" Owen told Cristina. She nodded and followed him. They got into a on call room and he locked the door and started pacing before he spoke.

"Cristina I just.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about this happening to you. I'm sorry to have caused you this pain. I'm sorry about everything I've ever done to hurt you. I'm sorry, Cristina. I'm sorry. And I know when I tell you this you will – yeah this..

The woman we saw outside was the one whom I slept with. I didn't know why she was here and what she wanted from me. After I left the on call room I started looking for her and when I saw her she told me that she's… she's pregnant and – "

Cristina stood up with tears in her eyes once again, she got up and was about to leave when Owen grabbed her arm and turned her pushing her against the door.

"Cristina listen, please listen to me. There's a possibility that it's not mine. She told me that she had have sex with other so there's a possibility that it's not mine. Please Cristina, don't leave me. Just, I know it's not mine, I can feel it in myself. We're doing the paternity test right now and we're waiting for the results, please just don't, don't give up on me." He said pleading with his eyes.

Cristina looked up and saw his worried face. She couldn't speak at the moment. She didn't want to speak right now. If there's a possibility that the woman is pregnant with Owen's kid then…. then she doesn't know what to do.

She pushed him away and unlocked the door and walked away.

* * *

"Here's the results Dr. Hunt" the man from the lab said.

"Thank you" Owen said.

He took the envelope and walked to see her. She was waiting for him and saw the letter in his hands.

"So here it goes" she said.

He opened the letter and started reading.

"_Probability of paternity 0.00 %"_

"_In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens there's nothing left to do but wait."_

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, I appreciate them so thank you very much. And if you enjoyed please,please,please leave a review they encourage me to continue. **

**Thanks.**


	8. Chapter 8: I Was Made For You

Owen stared at the paper once again and read it again. Thank god, he was not the father, he thought. He looked over at the woman and he could see from her face that she was upset about something. Well, she can only blame herself she was the one who slept with more than one guy and to find the father, good luck with that, Owen thought.

He didn't say anything. He handed over a copy to her and then left before she could speak. He needed to find Cristina and tell her that he is not the father. But he knew that this incident affected their relationship. He only hoped that she would be as open as she was with him the day before. Because everything felt good before this happened. It just felt like old times and he hoped that this event didn't change anything even though he knew it did.

He was looking for her and realized that she probably went home. It was late and she had probably been tired. He changed from his scrub and dressed in his causal clothes. He was eager to go home and tell her, on his way home he picked up some Thai food, she had probably not eaten and she hadn't cooked. Well, Cristina Yang doesn't cook so she's hungry.

He used his key and unlocked the door and walked up the stairs. He was shocked when he found the place in darkness. Where was she? He wondered. He walked to the bedroom and saw nothing. He looked everywhere and called out her name but nothing. Where the heck was she?

He waited and waited for couple of hours but she never came. He looked at his watch 11 p.m. There's no way she's working now. He picked up his phone and dialed her number, but he got to voicemail. He sighed and tried once again, but nothing.

* * *

After she had walked away from Owen at the on call room she had asked Meredith if she could stay at her place. Meredith had told her that she didn't even have to ask. She was always welcome and was happy that her friend was talking to her like before. But she knew that Cristina couldn't be at the fireplace since she knew about the woman.

They were sitting in the living room after tucking Zola.

"Do you want some wine?" Meredith asked.

"Yes please" Cristina answered.

She filled the glass and handed to her and sat next to her on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know" Cristina said.

"I mean, I understand that you're sad, and yeah hurt. But what will you do about it? Are you going back to him?" Meredith asked wanting to know what her friend would do.

"I don't know, Meredith" Cristina said taking a sip from her wine.

"What did he tell you? I could see that something was up with him before." Meredith said trying to push her friend to tell her the truth.

"He told me that she was... pregnant." Cristina said sighing loudly.

"What the hell?" Meredith said

"They were going to do a paternity test but I couldn't stay I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. And if he is the father Meredith, i. . . I don't know what to do. I'm already freaking out, she's going to give him the child he has always wanted if it is his child. He will forget me; I will just be an old memory for him." Cristian said her eyes filling up with tears once again.

Meredith moved closer to Cristina and hugged her tightly.

"I will be here for you Cristina. If he forgets you and runs after her. I'm here for you. I will always be here for you. You're my person" Meredith said hugging her friend.

"But ... I will not be able to watch him, Meredith. I will not be able to see him with another woman. Or playing with his child. I won't, it hurts too much." Cristina said sobbing.

Derek opened the door to his house and saw his wife hugging her best friend. He wondered what had happened,

"Hey" he said.

Meredith looked up and said.

"Hey, you're home late" she said.

"Yeah, I know. I was doing some research and I didn't realize it was so late. I'm sorry." He said.

"It's okay" Meredith said. She looked at him with her eyes telling him to give them some privacy. He nodded and left to their bedroom.

Cristina stopped crying and dried her eyes. "I'm going to sleep" she said.

"Okay" Meredith said.

"Good night, Meredith"

"Good night"

"And... thanks for yeah. For being here." Cristina said.

Meredith nodded and smiled

* * *

Owen had not been able to sleep, his body was tired but yet he kept thinking about Cristina and where she was. He had a clue that she had went across Meredith's. He got up from bed and got ready for a day of work. He knew he would see her at work today, he would tell her that he's not the father and then it will be okay, he thought.

He put on his clothes and headed to the hospital. As he entered the elevator he saw a familiar face. Cristina.

"Where were you last night? I was worried" he said.

"Merediths" Cristina said in a flat tone.

"Oh, um. Why didn't you come home?" he asked her

"I... I just needed some time." She said.

He dug into his pocket and gave her the paper.

"The results open it" he said giving her the paper.

"Um, I... I just." The doors opened and she gave the paper back to him, and got out. She was too scared to open it. It probably said that he was the father.

He got after her and took her arm and lead her to a on call room.

"Open it" he demanded.

"I can't Owen." She replied

"Please Cristina, trust me. Open it" he said pleading with his eyes.

She took the paper from his hand and opened it slowly. She looked down at the bottom and read.

"_Probability of paternity 0.00 %"_

She leaned against the door and sighed loudly. He was not the father; she sighed once again and looked at him.

"You're not the father" she said.

"I'm not the father." He replied

She had been so worried all this time and now. Now she felt a huge relief, but this was just another reminder about the cheating.

He looked at her directly in her eyes and leaned forward to kiss her. Cristina didn't want to kiss him back but she couldn't resist him. She kissed him back and wrapped her arms around his neck. How could just one kiss make her forget everything?

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He put her down on the bed and they both started ripping each other's clothes off. They got under the covers, both of them naked. They hadn't had sex in a long, long time. She missed it so much and so did he.

This on call room reminded her about much, this was the room they first made love. The first time they shared their bodies together. The first time of many.

She looked at him and could see the love in his eyes. He looked at her with so much love. Sex for them wasn't just sex. It was making love, it felt like making love to each other. She had never experienced something like that before, not with Burke not with anyone. She never believed she could love someone so much. He was her soul mate.

"_It's easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time, but opening up your soul to someone and letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes and dreams… now that is being naked."_

* * *

**A/N: Thank you very very much for the reviews. So please keep reviewing. And thank you for reading :)**


	9. Chapter 9: Mistakes Are How We Learn

Cristina tried to get up from the bed but was pulled back by Owen.

"We have to get up" Cristina said resting her head against his chest.

"Yeah, I know but let's just have this moment together. Just, this moment. One more minute." Owen replied.

They both remained silent and just kept staring at each other, enjoying each other's company.

"Okay, now we have to get up. I have patients to take care of" Cristina said resting her head against his chest.

"Okay," Owen said

They both put their clothes back on and prepared themselves for another day of work. They opened the door and got out.

"I will see you at home later" Owen said

"Yeah, later" Cristina said before they went their different ways.

* * *

Cristina had a busy day. She had done two heart valve replacements on one day. It was quite exhausting and she just wanted to get home to get on her pj's and sleep. She glanced over at Meredith while charting, Meredith looked up and saw Cristina looking at her.

"Hey, are you coming home with me today?" Meredith asked, wondering if Cristina and Owen had talked.

"No, I'm going home." Cristina answered and gave her a smile.

"Okay, well I'm off now, see you tomorrow" Meredith said now aware that Cristina and Owen solved their problem.

"Bye" Cristina said

Cristina finished her chart and headed to the locker room to change her clothes. She thought about the paternity test, she was grateful that Owen wasn't the father but it still bothered her that it had to be done. It was just another reminder about the cheating. She pushed her thoughts out and changed into her clothes and was about to head home when she heard a familiar voice.

"Do you want to go get a drink?" the male said.

Cristina looked up and saw the new doctor. What was his name again Johnson something, Cristina thought.

"Um" she said. She just wanted to go home and get some sleep.

"Oh, come on Yang. I'll buy you one drink." Dr. Johnson said

"I just want to go home and get some sleep" Cristina answered politely.

"Okay then, next time" Johnson said giving her a huge smile.

Cristina got out of the hospital and headed home. Why did Johnson want to get a drink with her? She thought. They weren't friends; honestly they had just talked once. And that was a polite conversation.

She unlocked the door to the firehouse and headed up the stairs, "someone is cooking" Cristina thought as she could smell food all over the house.

She looked in the kitchen and saw Owen, yes he was cooking.

"Hey, you're cooking" Cristina said giving him a smile.

"Yeah, I thought that you would be hungry after your day. I saw that you had two surgeries and I know you didn't eat something, so I cooked" he said "It's just some pasta"

Cristina settled down into a chair before answering.

"Yeah, you're right. I am hungry; I didn't have any time to eat. But fortunately both surgeries went well." Cristina said

Owen nodded and smiled. He got two plates out and poured them both a huge meal. He was too hungry. They both attacked their plate and cleared the whole plate. Cristina rested in the chair and was unable to get up, too much food.

"Wow, that was great. Though I'm so full that I'm unable to move right now. Thanks" she said.

"Yep, I'm full too" he said resting in his chair.

They both rested until Owen got up and cleaned the plates. "Still unable to move?" he asked with a grin. "No problem" he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and went to the bedroom to get some sleep.

* * *

"We're losing him, charge to 200" Owen said loudly

"Clear"

"Still nothing, sir" the resident said.

"Come on, come on"

"Charge again, 200" Owen demanded. He was not about to lose this patient. This patient a 14-year old boy whom hasn't even started his life yet.

"Sir – "

"Charge to 200, now!"

"Clear"

"Still nothing, sir I think we should – "

"I'm not losing this patient, do you understand me, push another epi"

_Come on kid, don't give up, don't give up. Stay._

"Clear" Owen said

"We have a pulse sir."

Owen looked at the screen and saw a weak pulse. This kid needed surgery right away.

"We need to get to the OR right now. Page cardio!"

Cristina got into OR 3 and saw Owen working on a patient. She scrubbed in and joined him.

"How is it going?" she asked.

"Good so far" Owen answered.

The had been in the OR for a couple of hours and yet they were still working on the patient.

"We need to get this done, he's becoming unstable." Cristina said.

"I know" Owen answered without listening to her.

"Owen, we need to wrap this up now." Cristina said.

"Cristina, just let me do this"

"You won't have anything to do if we don't close him up. This kid has been on the table for hours now. We need to finish now.

"Dr. Yang I know when I'm done. Now let us go back to work." Owen said although he knew Cristina was right.

They worked quickly and they finished in two hours, they both went to wash their hands before heading home.

"You know that was wrong, we risked the patient's life" Cristina said

"I know but, now he doesn't need surgery tomorrow" Owen replied.

"It was still wrong; you stepped over the line, Owen. You don't step over the line. That's not you." Cristina said turning to face him

"Cristina, what's done is done. We don't have pick up a fight because this patient." Owen said leaving.

* * *

Cristina just as yesterday walked to the locker room and changed her clothes to go home, Owen is probably already home, she thought.

"How about today, Yang?" Johnson asked.

Good grief, this man. What did he want she thought. She had declined him yesterday what's up with him.

Cristina turned around and put on a fake smile.

"I'm going home" she said.

"It's just one drink. We won't be late" Johnson said.

Cristina thought for a moment, he wouldn't leave her alone until she accepted. She looked at him and nodded. He smiled.

They headed to Joe's and ordered their drinks.

"So, you and Hunt?" Johnson said.

That was a weird question, she thought. "Um, yes. He is my husband." She answered.

"Yes I know, but I have heard rumors about you and him breaking up." Johnson said looking her in the eyes.

"Well, that's a lie." Cristina answered in a cold voice. What's up with this guy,

"Oh, okay. Just asking" Johnson said when he heard her voice.

They finished their drinks and got out of there.

"Thank you for buying me drink. Now, I'm going home" Cristina said stretching out her hand to shake his, that seemed polite she thought.

He looked her directly in the eyes. What the hell? Cristina thought. He leaned forward and was about to give kiss her but before he could so, Cristina smacked him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cristina asked pushing him away.

"Um – I just.. um.. I'm sorry Yang" Johnson said, embarrassed

"Why did you try to do that? You know I'm married. What's wrong with you?" she asked. She was angry; she had not given any intentions that she was interested. She is a married woman.

"I just.. I don't know, probably the alcohol." Johnson said looking down on the ground.

"Yeah, the alcohol, right. Don't ever talk to me again unless it's work. And don't ever, ever try that again on me or on anyone else whom in a marriage or in a relationship." Cristina yelled.

"I'm sorry" he said.

Cristina looked at him with a disgust look and then left. She got home and found the place in darkness. She went into the bathroom, took a shower and changed into her PJ's before joining Owen in the bed.

Owen felt a movement in the bed and knew it was Cristina. He turned around and hugged her tightly.

_It doesn't matter how tough we are- Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point: All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward, it's what pushes us.  
Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up._

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**A/N: Hey, I haven't been able to update my stories for a while. I usually update them often but I haven't got the time. So I'm sorry about that.**

**Please leave a review, they are highly appreciated. Thanks**


	10. Chapter 10: Johnson

It's been 3 weeks since Johnson and Cristina had their drinks. Cristina often gave him a look of disgust when they were working but she never talked to him if it wasn't work related. Owen had sometimes noticed how she reacted when she saw Johnson. He had asked her if something happened between them but she'd told him no. Cristina just as every morning changed into her scrubs and got ready for work. It was an exciting day because they had a huge surgery today. She had read about it in medical school but never seen it, and here it was. She was preforming the surgery with a couple of other surgeons because no one would be able to do it alone, they had all been practicing for a while and today was the day it would happen.

"I see someone is excited for today's surgery" Meredith said seeing the excitement in her eyes.

"Of course I am. I've only read about it in Medical school and now, here it is." Cristina said with a massive smile.

They continued to talk about the surgery but were interrupted by Johnson and Owen talking. Owen broke the contact with Johnson when he saw Cristina and gave her a warm smile. She smiled back, but was a little peeved. Why was he talking to Johnson? She wondered.

Meredith looked over at her friend and saw that she was angry.

"Cristina?" Meredith said a little confused why she was angry, here they were talking about the biggest surgery of their life and then from nowhere she gets peeved. She noticed that it happened when she saw Owen and Johnson together. Maybe Owen and Cristina had a fight, she thought for herself.

"Yes?" she answered quietly.

"What's the matter?" Meredith asked.

"Um, nothing. So where were we?" Cristina said facing Meredith again.

* * *

The surgery was successful and they were all pleased with their work. It was a hard surgery but they made it through. Meredith and Cristina changed into their casual clothes and headed to the elevator. They were both talking about the surgery and how amazing it was and were joined by Owen and Johnson.

What the hell is this, Cristina thought. Was Johnson Owen's new best friend or why is he always with him. She had considered talking with Owen about what happened that he tried to kiss her but she had stopped herself. There was no need telling Owen when nothing happened. She looked over at Johnson and gave him a mean glare. Meredith noticed once again the change in Cristina. Every time she saw Johnson she was getting angry. What could have happened between them, she knew it was Johnson because she was acting normal around Owen so it had to be Johnson. She made her mind up to tell her later.

The elevator came and they all entered. Owen looked at Cristina and took her hand into his.

"Congratulations you two, on your surgery. I heard it went very well." Owen said.

"Yes, we couldn't have pulled it through without Cristina, she was amazing today" Meredith said giving her friend a compliment.

"Don't sell yourself short Mer, you were pretty darn good today too." Cristina said.

"So..We should celebrate?" Owen asked happily.

"Sure, why not." Meredith said.

They all looked at Cristina for some answer.

"Um, yeah sure." She said, did she have a choice? If she had declined it would be kinda strange after a successful surgery.

The elevator doors opened and they all headed to Joe's.

* * *

"Cheers" they said taking a sip from their beers or shots.

Owen and Johnson was sitting next to each other talking. Cristina and Meredith were sitting next to them but were having their own conversation. Just as before Cristina's mood was glum, they were talking but Meredith could sense that Cristina was still peeved.

"What happened between you and Johnson?" Meredith asked facing Cristina.

"Nothing happened? Why should anything happen?" Cristina said,

"It's just that every time you see Johnson you change, it's like he's done something really bad and you can't forgive him. Tell me Cristina what happened?" Meredith asked once again.

"It's just that – Nothing, Mer. Don't even bother, he's an asshole." Cristina said giving her a fake smile.

They spent the rest of the night talking to each other, and celebrating the surgery but Meredith could still feel that Cristina wasn't in the right place.

* * *

Owen woke up and saw Cristina snuggled under his arm. He smiled and shook her gently. Cristina opened her eyes and looked up, she saw his smile but didn't return it instead she got up and headed to the bathroom.

Owen was taken back, what had happened? He thought. They had a good time last night and nothing had happened that could have made her mad. He got up headed to the bathroom. He opened the door and saw Cristina taking a shower. He undressed and joined her.

"Good morning" he said carefully.

"Good morning" she said in a flat tone.

"What's the matter?" he asked sensing the tone in her voice.

"So, you and Johnson are best buddies now?" she asked sarcastically.

"Um, we're friend. What does it matter?" he asked.

"Friends?" she said with a laugh.

"Yes, friends. Just like you and Meredith. We're friends, why are you acting this way?" Owen asked confused.

"He's not your friend, or at least you shouldn't be friend with him. He's not a good person." Cristina said looking directly into Owen's eyes.

He looked at her with a confused look and then said "What have he done that makes him such a bad person?"

Cristina sighed and wondered if she should tell him. If she told him he would probably have a talk with Johnson later and he would not be his friend. And if she didn't tell him he would just be confused and he would still be hanging out with Johnson.

She looked at him and sighed once again and then started.

"About 3 weeks ago, Johnson asked me if I wanted to take a drink with him, I declined and told him that I was tired and wanted to go home. The next day he asked me once again if I wanted to take a drink with him, first I was going to decline but then I told him yes. If I had told him no he just had kept asking me so I agreed to have a drink with him. We went to Joe's had one drink; it was really awkward because he was talking to me in a strange way, like he was trying to hit on me. He kept asking questions about you and me I was confused why he was asking but I answered him that you were my husband. After our drink I told him goodbye and stretched my arm to shake his hand. He looked at me in a strange way and leaned forward. First I didn't know what he was doing but then when he closed his eyes I realized that he was about to kiss me so I slapped him. I asked him what the hell he was doing, he had asked me about you before and I told him that you were my husband so he knew that I was married. He kept blaming that he was drunk but he wasn't we just had ONE drink so he was aware of what he was doing. I told him not to talk to me unless it is work related and then I left" Cristina said a little out of breathe.

Owen looked at her and couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had Johnson really tried to kiss Cristina? He had been spending so much time with Johnson and they were becoming buddies, what a waste of time, Owen thought

Cristina looked at Owen and saw that he was taking it all in.

"Did he really –" Owen said

"He tried but I stopped him" Cristina said.

"Okay, I'll have a chat with him later. Let's get changed" Owen said.

He was certainly having a chat with Johnson

"_Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone get these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt."_

* * *

**A/N: Leave your thoughts, they are appreciated. And I haven't had the time to update any of my stories but I do try when I get the chance. So if you enjoyed please leave a comment. Thanks.**


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